I keep going back to our POD call with Dr. Sea a couple of weeks ago where we all wrapped it up with the possibility of fearing success, or at least falling back on possible hollow excuses for lack of. We all claim to want to be successful, I know I do, and why else would we hire coaches. But as we peeled back the layers a bit we all kept coming back to the realization that there was no magic to being successful but there is alot of focus and hard work. With no one piece of the puzzle being unbelievably difficult it seems to come down to effort. Part of effort for me has been the gaining the belief in why do I need to do something, in the effort to do as little as possible while being optimistic about the future. (Hindsight is brutal isn't it?) I wasn't trying to be lazy, just efficient. :) Actually I did not realize I was consciously slacking in the way that I realize now. That is what brings me back to this 'fear' of success idea. Dr. Frank has asked us more than once if we want a 500/week practice and most of us, who didn't know better yet, would say yes. Then he would tell us something to the affect of being liars because if we did we would have a 500/week practice already. So I have been toying VERY recently with the regular focus on the little stuff daily. 3-4 things per day as Dr. T instructed and low and behold there are some loose ends to tidy up around here. I have been "cruising", as Dr. T called it, for a while now and so I guess I figured it was time to pony up and actually give it a go at growing my practice. Sitting around and looking at my practice saying it is well above the national average, etc. and giving excuses like it will just take time because this is "really hard stuff" makes it easier to face myself when I am not giving my full effort. So as far as Fear of Success goes, does that mean that in part I would have to admit to being a lazy slacker (in relative terms at least) because all that is required is better consistency and focus and amazingly the practice is already growing. This might be the busiest month in my career to date. But where I really feel different is that whether it is or it is not I do believe that my new viewed efforts will pay off. This month or next but I have called myself out for taking the easy route for a while, as much fun as it is to sit around and philosophize with you all. As I recently told Dr. Frank in an email I have come to look at philosophy in general in the same light as in a college course. It is fun and makes you think but it rarely will pay the bills. Only the technical classes where you actually DO something pays the bills so why is day to day in practice any different? So for me at least, the "fear" was facing the facts and admitting that I could and should be DOING more and not just for a week or month so that I don't have any excuse to fall back on. As Dr. Sea said it is not hard. But there is alot of facing ourselves which is not necessaarily easy or fun. I have gotten to the point where I think life is too short to be a slacker even though I might want to take a breather once in a while. But that is what the rejuventation system is set up for and cooinicidentally, the next 10 months are planned out with trips and activities that I sincerely looking forward to. I will let you know how long I stay on the horse. If I don't have several small notebooks filled by CPS feel free to harass me. Not that any of you need an excuse.
Fear of Success
(28 posts) (10 voices)-
Posted 9 months ago #
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Unfortunately I was not on your Pod call as that sounded a very interesting discussion! I for one have never thought of it from that perspective! But is it really fear that stops us from achieving success? Apparently Carly Simon is absolutely petrified before she goes on stage yet she still does it and whilst she is not my cup of tea she is very successful! So would we really be devoting so much time and energy to this journey if we were actually afraid of success? Or is it just laziness and complacency? Do we think that it will happen so much easier? And then when we don’t see instant success we rest on our laurels and make excuses and blame all and sundry? In that regard are we any different to our patients? Or once we see a bit of success we assume that it will all happen if we just sit back and do nothing except chant some affirmation or mantra? How many times have we been told that the comfort zone is the most dangerous place to be?
So assuming we really do want success how do we instil and develop that discipline and persistence? As our coaches always remind us the majority of us are making this process much more complicated and difficult than it really is! I for one am a real master of deception when it comes down to convincing my self that I am busy! For instance a couple of months ago I decided to focus as you did on one or two areas a day, yet that discipline did not last more than a couple of days! So if I am truly to master the process of becoming successfulI how do you develop that habit! Other than you just do it!! Do it, do it, do it! I hear all that and as Dr Sea often tells us your energy flows where your attention goes! But I need specifics, so what techniques do you use to keep yourself focused? Exactly what linear processes do you follow to develop that consistency and persistency! Do you have lists, or what?
How many times have we heard that it is simply a natural principle in the world for everything to be either growing or dying from the lowliest plant and plankton to every person on this forum! We have a choice, yet I personally want to thrive not just survive! Anyway apologies if I appear to be continually asking for advice, I just want to learn! It certainly is not my intent to be selfish or narcissistic! So for all of you who merely read these posts please don’t repress your comments, we all want to hear them!
Posted 9 months ago # -
Mega dittos Ed! I feel the same way you do most of the time. I want knowledge and want to learn from the best that is why I have DC Mentors, and why "listening" to Dr. Perron is awe-inspiring. However Ed, we can do what Dr.Perron does, we may have to do it differently. I have a problem that I don't realize until it is too late that I am off track, much like you said focused for two days. So for me, I did have to make a list, reminder lists of what I am to focus on, to do, to read, exercise etc... Think about it, until it becomes a habit, I need that reminder daily. We all want success, to thrive not just survive, and to begin to thrive you have to take that first step. But when you look back after the first step, doesn't feel like you accomplished much and can be disappointing. Think about climbing a mountain. Takes one step at a time and to get to the top have to take the first step. If you stopped after the first step and looked back, you might be disappointed and give up right there. Having DC Mentors, Dr. Perron and all our other peers in this awesome group, there are paths up the mountain. I'm with you brother, we'll get there, lets get some attainable goals you and I and see if we can do this thing together. Tad.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Fear I don't believe was meant in the way of knees trembling, although I am glad you brought it up because that is a great point for whomever else was not on the same POD. I heard it in the sense of having to face oneself in truth. When the veil is pulled away and we are left with the apparent truth that there is no magic to being successful just consistent effort over time it does not leave us with alot of excuses. That is something that is obviously not necessarily easy to swallow. Therefore not facing reality is in a sense being afraid of reality. So actually giving it your all and all you have to fall back on is your belief that it will pay off is a leap of faith in a sense versus not giving it our all and giving a mediocre effort and using the excuse that this stuff is hard and therefore an excuse why we are not where we want to be in our practices. I guess it is the ultimate in being accountable to ourselves, very much like our patients as you mentioned Ed.
What is working for me, so far ( a whole 6 days now), is keeping a small notebook with me and using it as a journal and thinkpad. Everyday I have looked for and written down 3-4 things to tweak in the office. What I have added is tracking my mood, the mood of the office, did I workout, how many hours of sleep did I get, and was my diet good. Seems like alot maybe but most of it is just written as good, fine, or bad. I have found that it has certainly upped my consciousness of the little things and it also provides a tracking of my personal habits that I have failed to be consistent with so that I must answer to myself and daily and it will provide a cool retrospective look at how big a deal those things are. We can assume they are important but when in writing I think it gives it that much more credibility. So that is what I am doing from a linear, systematic standpoint on the advice of Dr. T, and so far, I actually like it and I have had off days already. Including today, and I know why and hopefully I will learn from my mistakes or at the least see them enough time to get sick of myself screwing up and change out of self shame. No excuses, just trial and error.
Posted 9 months ago # -
As far as "all the questions" Ed, I think we all figure this stuff out in our own way. I know I tend to try and answer questions more than ask them but that provides me the opportunity to think things out. It is not like all this stuff I say is top of mind and I am just trying to help out the "short busers". So it is really your questions and others that help me to think things over, right or wrong, but at least think. Your approach is more asking, mine is more answering. That is what makes this cool I think. You make me think, and I get alot out of that, and if you get anything out of my thoughts then all the better. So if your narcissistic then I must be arrogant but I know your not and I don't believe I am. What I feel we are is trying to solve the mysteries of success and I have made major strides since the onset of this forum and primarily due to you so thank you for your questions and keep them coming. I really am needy that way, I was not kidding. :)
Thanks for joining in regularly Dr. Tad I appreciate your sharing of thoughts greatly as well. I like what you were saying about all of us having different paths to take up the mountain. They all go up but not the same exact way. I think that is where this new tip by Dr. T is so helpful in that it is purely focusing on tweaking our office and our lives. We all work from the same template but we all have various weak links so I find it really individualizes the process.
Lastly, thanks for the jab at the end of the last line Ed, that is all I need. Just a chuckle.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Hi boys!
I must say that I am loving this topic. You all are brilliant! This topic has gotten me thinking about my first year in this practice. I busted my *ss until I was "comfortable" with how things looked, until I felt confident that I had built the practice to a "reputible level". And then I did something really stupid.... Nothing! How stupid is that? I completely stopped doing the things that built the momentum in the fist place. Now the good thing is that my practice has not plummited into nothingness. Because of the help that we have all had from dc mentors I started the work on myself and the practice again and "magically" the practice started to grow again. So, for me, because of that past realization, I strive to "practice" in my practice everyday. So, each day I pick out some procedure (or a few procedures) at the beginning of the day that I reherse or train during my tweener time. TPosted 9 months ago # -
Sorry guys I got cut off by my iPod
I was going to say that the great thing now is that I don't have a lot of tweener time, but because I had all the rehersal time I don't feel stressed. ;)
Thanks for all the great questions Ed. And Chris, I really like the idea of keeping a list of things to work on, I've never been much of a list girl, but I'm willing to give it a try.
Posted 9 months ago # -
This is great stuff! So thank you! Thanks for the clarification as well regarding fear! That whole idea of effort and a certain leap of faith makes a lot of sense! Tad I love the simple analogy of climbing that really resonates! The journal also sounds a great idea, but again I am loathe admitting it but I started an “emotional diary” 4 months ago when we were talking about EQ! And yes you’ve guessed it, it lasted a couple of weeks! But with peer pressure and being held accountable I will make a concerted effort to make it a habit, even if it is 5 minutes first thing! So regarding your lists what exactly is on your list today for you and your staff? I have no doubt that this will help immensely as I am a Master at appearing "busy", wasting time on as Covey describes it quadrant 4 activities - those things that are neither urgent nor important! Trivia in other words!
The idea of tweaking things is also very appealing as that would seem to prevent micro managing i.e by all accounts you just focus on an area and have the staff do likewise rather than finding faults and jumping on them! Which is exactly what I have done in the past? As Dr Frank says catch them doing something right!
On this note one other thing I am slightly confused with of late is the difference in learning from doing things right i.e. take your successes and find what worked rather than that old chestnut failure is feedback. To me this is a slight paradox! Do we learn from our mistakes or our successes? Any thots?
Posted 9 months ago # -
I am not much different than you Ed with the quadrant four issue. It is not that I mind working but during those few moments here and there if I need to think about what I should be doing the window of doing has already passed. So with this list thing it has started to help harness my focus. Now to clarify, at least what I am doing, again this is from Dr. Thackeray so she can help with clarification as well. I am NOT making a TO DO list. This is not a list of what I want to do today. It is a list I make during the day as I notice stuff. That is referring to the 3-4 tweaks per day stuff. It is not predetermined. That way I am paying attention to the good and the bad. It has helped with finding things to compliment my staff on as well because it is making me be a better 'Noticer'. So I am letting it come to me as opposed to me pushing what I think needs to be done. There is a distinct difference in focus between the two approaches with if you have a list when you get to the office you will be focused on your list but if you have a list you need to make it will make you focus on your office. Ahhhh! That is probably a monster difference for the Core 'C' club, which I am a member. It is a way to track without being sucked into the list itself.
I am also going to start tracking everday the 7 spokes on the wheel of life that Dr. Sea presented at the June CPS, again on advice from Dr. T, she is the brains of this operation. This is all after the fact, end of day. What I am trying to accomplish is consistency and create a feel of having a handle on things. When you have a wife, couple small kids, office, all this money that you don't know what to do with (kidding) there is alot to keep track of especially when you desire to do well with all aspects of life. By thinking about it all daily, it should make things more top of mind but mostly provided a regular opportunity to make sure that focus is in better balance instead of running from fire to fire which I am a master at by now. It is exhausting, in case you did not know.
As far as learning from successes or mistakes, I would hope both. My guess is that Dr. Frank was trying to tip the scales a bit toward a positive attitude because if all we do all day is tell ourselves and our staff all the things we did wrong that would likely become a negative even if they are "learning opportunities". So obviously we want to learn from mistakes in what not to do again but as much attention to what we are doing right so that we are consciously repeating those behaviors is certainly wise as well and I think more motivating. I think that most of us try to accomplish that with our employees but the bar is typically much higher for ourselves. We all know there is room for imporvement but keeping the positives going is key to not having to fix those issues again down the road. Once you get a positive behavior keep it, that way the hit list actually has a chance to shrink instead of becoming a rotation.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Ed you asked for specific examples of "tweaks". I am lowering my adjusting times quickly today. The first thing I noticed the other day was that I would push the button to tilt patients up if they had significantly twisted pelvises, etc. Not constantly but several in a day which would naturally tend to lend to an extended conversation as they rode up and you know the rest. I have begun to tell that patient that "Valerie is going to tilt the table up for you today so you don't twist your hips climbing off because of how extra twisted they were today." And I leave (most of the time), I said I have begun. :) The other thing that hit me while lying in bed with my four year old last night, waiting for him to fall asleep, was that I typically walk up to the patient in the adjusting suite and pick up their chart and ask how xyz is doing and I jot down a couple of quick things then put it down and begin adjusting. Talk about a one minute rule violation!!! So I walk up and grab feet now but part of the twist is making sure my tech has the chart notes face up on the right side of the feet so that I can glance at what was going on recently so that I can still ask an on subject question to open. Other things I caught in the last week were opening with a question about their condition, no cell phones in the adjusting suite, tell patient's EXACTLY when to come back, and having my tech's check for when people are due for a re-exam also and just mark it on the chart in advance for the next visit. I do all of these things some times and some more than others but now I am aiming for ALL the time. Big difference. Hope that helps and remember these were things I have noticed as they happened except the last night thing. But I have been really trying to figure out the adjusting times and NOW. It is all along the lines of this weeks Smart Talk which you may not have heard yet Ed. The analogy given was a basketball player working on his shot and the better shooters tend to break down every aspect of the shooting motion and focus on each piece, like elbow position, follow through, etc. as opposed to the poorer shooters will maybe stay later and just keep taking shots to get a good rhythm or something to that affect that is less tangible and therefore less repeatable. Breaking down the pieces and going after a couple pieces at a time. Master them and then add another few pieces so as to not put half effort in on a new habit and not nail it down because focus was spread too thin to actually make it a habit. Hope that helps. It really helps me to write it out like this. I feel I know more by the time I am done typing than when I started.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Another... Having my tech explain/demo exercises instead of me!
Do any of you have any tips on where to find good tear sheet exercises I can get so I can teach my techs all of them and then just get my favorites and tell them to show Mary #1 and 4. And I can bolt. Any help??? Thanks.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Dr. Chris thanks for the hits. Some of the "lists" I make are notes I put up in front of my personal desk, so when I go out to adjust I remember to work on that "thing". As far as exercises, I had my exam tech put them into the computer and then when a patient needs whatever stretch, yoga, dumbbell exercise she can print out that "one" and go over it with the person. I just write what exercise/stretch at the bottom of the fee sheet so when the person checks out the tech can get the exercise and go over it with the person.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Thanks Dr. Tad. Did you describe the exercises in your own words then? Diagrams? I think I am too lazy for anything I can buy. But I am curious.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Some great tips, thank you! All of which I am, of course, doing consistently! Now I know that I am not a real member of the Core C group despite having C well above the line but I cannot see the benefit in not having a predetermined list. Without an “agenda” is there not a real danger that you only end up concentrating on the things you enjoy or indeed are aware of? Or indeed if we notice things throughout the day especially when we are under pressure is there a risk of our emotions running high and our logic running low and opening ourselves up to emotional high jacking? Whereas if at the end of the day you reflect without emotion or being judgemental at what worked and what didn’t would you be in a stronger position to judge? Again this is a mute point and all about semantics but I know for me to do something I do have to believe in it! So can you elaborate further on the reasoning behind your approach? I think I can see the benefit when dealing with staff and I do appreciate the importance of being a better “Noticer”. Even though I still feel I would be at risk of micromanaging and jumping on “faults” as they occur! But for our own agendas and bear in mind we are all obviously masters of self denial and delusion, if we don’t have set things to concentrate on or at least be aware of are we in danger of missing some significant chunks! We know we can “program” our reticular activating systems to filter in or out different activities so what things will we notice?
Also can you refresh me on the seven spokes of life?
Finally, you mentioning adjusting times has reminded me of another question! I know we have touched on this before but over the past couple of weeks I have also been trying to shorten my times and have realised that one area I really struggle with is when a patient has a secondary extremity problem! I find I have a tendency to do every single test that I know and more often than not probably end up over adjusting, especially with the shoulder! Now I have been discussing this a lot with Dr Frank who has made several suggestions such as flying through other areas before concentrating on their extremity? And he rightfully pointed that considering the shoulder is merely an appendage just hanging there neurologically speaking adjusting has far less effect on the body! Yet despite this realisation I am still struggling to tear myself away! And so my times creep up and up! Any other suggestions?
Thanks a millionPosted 9 months ago # -
I really like the idea of keeping a notebook and jotting down the things you "notice" as the day goes. As a part of the Core C group, it resonated with me,Dr Chris, when you said that if you start the day with a list you have predetermined agenda. ie, control issues, like "pushing a rope". But if you make your list as the day transpires, you are not trying to control it, you are trying to ride with the practice, leaning with the twists and turns of the day, can be more graceful and less stressful. Of course this is an art, but with practice... I think I will start the notebook exercise.
I have tear-off stretches from http://www.stretching.com. they call them chart pads. They have a neck, shoulder and arm stretches pad, low back stretches pad, etc. I also have some exercises I like to prescribe that aren't on the pads. I have taught them to my tech and gave her the project to make up handouts. She searched the internet for pictures and I wrote the text to go along, she cut and paste and photocopied. It was a good project for her to do, it increased her understanding of those exercises and gave her a finished project she could take ownership of, especially since she will be the one teaching them.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Once again there is awesome stuff floating about in this forum. Thanks to all who have contributed. Now that I'm not repeadedly shoveling out my drive and walks, I have some time to share some insights. :)
Fear of Success: I've heard this described before not as a conscious fear, but something that lurks in the subconscious. It's as if we have an internal thermostat. If things slow down too much and things get "cold", the heater kicks in to get things moving again. This works the opposite way, too. If things get to cranking and subconsiously you feel like things are starting to get too "hot", you kick in the cooling system. To me, the way to overcome this is by doing what Dr. Perron has described in his posts. Notice what is making things feel too hot and make the tweaks necessary to get back into flow before the cooling system chills things off too much.
Focus: Speaking of what Dr. Perron has been posting, I really like the journaling idea. I'll break down and admit that focus and consistency are things I've struggled with lately. Like Ed, I can get in good habits for a week or two, but quickly fall off the wagon. The struggle for me is that I get way too wrapped up in all that is "wrong" and get overwhelmed rather than just focusing on one or two things at a time and systematically making the necessary adjustments/improvments.
Exercises: Second confessional of the post-- there is no question that locks up my hard drive faster that "Are there any/What exercises should I be doing?" Any suggestions on tear sheets would rock, as would pointers to books/seminars on what exercises to recommend for xyz problems.
Extremities: The way I've attempted to handle this is by working on clinical correlations between "pain/problem at point x" to the two most likely tests/adjustments, not delving deeper unless the problem is not resolving. This is a work in progress for me, and it's now what I'm most trying to glean from seminars.
Hope everyone is having an awesome day and I look forward to reading your further insights.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Hi Boyz,
As far as exercises go, I very rarely give out extremity exercises, I like to focus my patients on working out any of the "kinks" in their nervous system and letting their body take care of things. Right or wrong it seems to work. But I do give most of my patients a serious of Spinal hygiene exercises at their first or second Interim Exam Report visit. I took pictures of Jason doing the exercises (which I believe originated from James Chestnut) and then put them in .pdf format and put them in the "patient only" section of our website. You are welcome to check them out to give you an idea. Our web address is http://www.entertogetwell.ca click on button that says "Family First Practice Members Sign in Here". Use the user name: test and password: test which should give you access. Click on the Moving Well section on the right hand side. It was a bit of work to organize at the beginning, but now all that is required is that I tell the patient I would like them to start doing some spinal stabilizing exercises and that Amber is going to go over them with you, and voila... patient is happy!
Let me know what you think!
Danellap.s. I just noticed your post Heather so I guess I should say "Hi Boyz and Girlz!"
Posted 9 months ago # -
Ed you think too much!!! :)
Being open minded is the whole point of not having an advanced agenda. Now a clarification which may help is that once you identify something that needs tweaking you need to tweak it! So in that way there ARE predetermined items to focus on in the day. I listed off a few already. Identify = yippee, Taking action = THE POINT! So maybe that helps. Alot of the tweaks so far are just quick hits for staff but others are centered around my adjustment procedures, which I have definitely increased my focus on. With regard to confessions (your not alone Dr. Davis): Literally my first noticed tweak last week was to let staff tilt any patients up that I feel need it on that particular day. Well I have been better but not mastered by any means. Yesterday I tilted a patient up while almost cutting off my exam tech who was ready and waiting to follow our new procedure. I was given a scowl by her and then after that cluster was over she and my Front Tech confronted me with a stop watch in my front tech's hand. I admitted my fault, apologized and promised to do better, then my front tech waived the stop watch so I could see the time 3:16 on it. She accusingly asked what I thought the time was associated with and I said the time it took me to adjust the lady I tilted up. And she answered, "Actually it is the time from when you began to tilt her up until you ended you converdation with her." OUCH!!!!!!! I told Dr. T this this morning and there was a slight pause I will admit. I had no clue that it was that much time. It felt like maybe a minute in my mind, which does not condone the behavior but over three minutes. There is where this list comes in handy for me because often it is recruiting the staff to a new procedure or simply having them time you while you focus on the details. I have made this a team focus whenever appropriate, which is often. I feel more obligated to perform for my staff than I do for myself quite often. How can I ask them to be better if I am not? How much credibility do I have when I discuss how it is our obligation to be at our best so that we are available to take care of whomever wants it and when they want it? Well if I repeatedly suck like I did on that adjustment yesterday then I will still be leading them but right into the ground.As for Core C, which I am. I actually am doing the lists/journaling because I know I need to not because I find it exciting, at all! I do find success exciting however, so there is my motivation. I too as I think most humans, start and stop many habits. But life is about choices and it is really that simply. As Dr. Frank has said, taking action is instantaneous it is the deciding to act that takes time. But it is up to each of us how much time. Only time will tell, and maybe putting myself out there a bit to you all as I am doing and also with my staff will help keep me on the horse long enough to reach a new cruising altitude. All of you make a great support group, so thank you.
As for excercise Dr. Davis, I am totally in Dr. Danella's camp with less is more and the few I do are focussed on posture and core. If they need something more elaborate then there are PT's in the area. Not my interest personal or professional. I would suggest keeping it simple.
Thanks to all for the exercise links. Maybe I should check out my new website, there may be some on there. Yes, I am serious! :)
Posted 9 months ago # -
You may be right about the thinking! Although my excuse is that I am merely trying to be more curious! Regarding this on going discussion, it does make for fascinating insights! Dr Davis you highlighting your struggle in getting too wrapped up in all that is "wrong" is something I really struggle with, I dont need my coaches to beat me most of the time I do it myself and can be too damn hard on myself! And this is where I think the tweaking can be a problem for me at least! As we mentioned we need to learn from our successes not just our faults, and I assume the intent of focusing on single simple Kaizen steps is to make our adjusting process less routine, more interesting and overall improving the patient experience! In which case does breaking the whole process or experience down into minutiae steps not make sense?
I was just reading Dr Danellas comment about Dr Jason and was thinking how great it is to be truly appreciated by those who are nearest and dearest to us! But then I reminded myself that it works both ways, Dr Jason provides the brains and Dr D well lets just harp back to her licking!!!
On that note have a great weekend!
Cheers All EdP.S Tigers on going woes does remind me of Groucho Marx's famous quote "Behind every successful man is a woman (or 10 in this case), behind her is his wife."
Posted 9 months ago # -
Hey Ed,
Great discussion going.....but just wanted to point out Dr. D has both brains and heart while I'm just a cold-hearted D-man....LOL!!Jason
Posted 9 months ago # -
I should let Dr. D do it but... WRONG!!!! Does Antoinette know you talk like that?
Other than that you raised some interesting points. The challenge would obviously be for those that beat themselves up too much is how can you ever fix anything if you can't take the emotion out of it? And I mean that as a question, not just stating the obvious. Me totally screwing up my "new" procedure the other day did not make me feel like I am personally a failure, it certainly opened my eyes to how my actions were a total failure at that moment. My actions, not me! I know you all have heard this before but people are not failures only their actions. I did not carry my screw up to the next table even though it was obvious that I had screwed up, and I did not carry anything to the next adjustment after my staff called me on it. I just simply did not raise another table up since then. See simple, it is the action. Cut yourself some slack. They talk about the best athletes having the quality of a "short memory" because just like us if they dwell on past failures then they will be wound too tight to perform at their best. I don't have an easy answer but the way I see it you obviously need to look at your office more objectively and with less emotion. We all know that perfection is the unattainable goal (intellectually at least)so why not just accept that in reality, at best you are constantly just heading towards it and also accept that you will NEVER reach it. It is merely a direction. Leave the whippings and spankings for the bedroom, there is no place for them in the office, unless your Dave Letterman of course. Do you see the influence you have on me Ed, Karen is not going to let me talk to you. I have been breaking down the adjustment process into many pieces over the last week. The more pieces I identify, the more I find. Most of them I have found I just need to get rid of, or "shed" in Dr. Sea terms. I guess the getting comfortable with the fact that we are not perfect and today is the best day to start being closer to perfect, so pick a couple of things and zero in on them. Then when an average adusting time is cut in half, or more, then you can learn from your success. It worked! Now don't stop those new habits and find another target. It is creating a hit list that is conscious, not in passing so that it is forgotten by tomorrow. So it does create a predetermined agenda but also a constant goal to see what else is there. There is always more.
Last thing, I am not focusing on all of the pieces I know need improving in the adjustment. Just like the adjustment itself, we all know there are majors and the minors. I am starting with the majors (3 things) and accepting that the minors can wait their turn. If I remember the minors in the flow of things certainly I tweak but I am only focusing on a couple of things for now. When the boxes are checked to my satisfaction, next. That is how I am approaching this daily hit list. Things that are instant do them now. Things that are habits to create, prioritize.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
Santa stopped at three Ho's!
(Karen sent me that one Ed)Posted 9 months ago # -
This is such a great topic. Many of the posts have hit on thoughts that constantly swirl around in this short-bus brain of mine. Dr. Davis's comments about the thermostat analogy reminds me of the flow channel diagram. I struggle with trying to have enough anxiety to allow growth, without causing a feeling of wanting to dive across the flow channel to a place of comfort and boredom. I like Dr. Perron's thoughts of identifying those triggers, and then drilling them until they are no longer sources of anxiety. Sounds simple enough, but for those with control issues (like myself), you better charge up the battery pack, because there is going to be a great deal of drilling! I also find, as others mentioned, that it can be very easy to become fixated on those areas you are trying to correct, and my overzealous focus can actually prevent me from being able to just improve(without perfection) and move on. I tend to being overly critical of myself as well as have a fear of being buried alive in a box. Maybe I should Stop it!(Love that one) One thing I found that has helped recently is borrowed from the Swaimer. During short tweener times, just sit there and do nothing! Don't worry about what needs fixing, or why some patient doesn't like my bathroom mirror, just do nothing. When you go back to adjusting, the patient gets a fresh, beginner's mind and complete focus. I'm telling you, the Swaimer acts all short bussy, but he's really wise like Peter Falk in Columbo.
Posted 9 months ago # -
I think Marianne Williamson's quote might sum up some of our fears of success best.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Use our presence to liberate someone today and Dr. Davis if that's only liberating someone from a snow drift, that's alright too.
Posted 9 months ago # -
"We are all meant to shine as children do" that is so powerful! But how the heck do you follow that?
That said I do concur this is really great stuff! I love the fact that more and more people are beginning to contribute! Of course I do see the danger in being too predetermined with our "corrections" and admittedly there is a risk of losing sight of the patient centred care goal by becoming too fixated in the minutiae! Not seeing the wood from the trees and all that. However more often than not the course corrections that we all require are often very small and often only spotted by our coaches after we have a real system breakdown! That is why the Life Line is there and why we all have a coach! So for me it is not a case of being or feeling a “failure” or searching for perfection rather this process is case of creating awareness! Which is certainly where all the discussions of EQ and self awareness have been invaluable? But we first have to have that awareness. So assessing our performance at the end of the day in a pragmatic and non judgemental way surely enables us to identify the good the bad and the ugly!! So despite having a predetermined agenda we are able the following day to act on a specific trigger much more swiftly! Also by having the system in place knowing we will implement a specific action step we can immediately change our physiology and channel our emotions much more productively! "Next"!
Again a lot of this is pure semantics but I think my problem with the whole concept of being more "open minded" is that it strikes me as being a case of flying by the seat of your pants! I don’t know whether that makes any sense or not? But for me simply putting thoughts on paper helps my understanding and in developing both skopus and discipline!Posted 8 months ago # -
Sometimes that flying by the seat of your pants is exactly what we want, that serious fun, the roller coaster you know is safe and will eventually end, however during the ride laugh yell and enjoy! Ed another thought for you is don't forget this is a game. A game worth playing, but a game. Enjoy the tweaks don't make it work to work on the tweaking like Dr. Perron talks about. If you try to change something and it doesn't work, laugh and say wtf and try something else. I'm not saying I am not doing what you are doing, I do exactly that, look at the little stuff, focus on wrong things, take myself way to seriously. Just since getting involved with this forum am I trying the focus on 2 or 3 things, making sure I am relaxed and if the situation calls for fun and laughter I go with it.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Ed. The seven "spokes" on the wheel of life are: Family, Physical, Spiritual, Career, Financial, Intellectual, and Social. These are the basis of my daily "diary" I have started to keep and I am taking a few minutes each night to review my day and therefore attempt to not let anyone piece slide too much even though the focus is certainly not equal all around. As you might imagine the social is practically non-existent for me, come to think of it the intellectual is pretty weak too, and I've gotten way out of shape in the recent months. Ah, and there is the point. Focus on one too much and forget others and just spend time running from fire to fire. That has been my MO. With this system it leaves me no excuses really other than too lazy to keep up so if I do it or I don't I get what I deserve. It really does just come down to discipline and behind that must be a true desire, not just lip service. Our challenge is that the path to the "promised land" has been laid out for us so for me it is either victory or shame with no real in between for having given it a "good" try. There really is no choice, I can not look back at my life and see opportunity lost simply due to my own laziness.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Thanks for the clarification. That is what I thought! I think it is one of life’s hardest struggles to keep an eye on all the spokes! Naturally we can only focus on one at a time but I love the idea of journaling around them! In reality if everything is in perfect balance then nothing is actually happening, all you have achieved is stasis! But I love the idea of touching base on a regular basis! That must help avoid as you describe "running from fire to fire"! How often do we focus on only one or two areas of the wheel to the neglect and detriment of the others? Inevitably that leaves an empty feeling or a hollow success! And usually we then criticise and berate ourselves! But by ensuring that we pay attention to all the spokes at different but regular times we can grow! And since all the spokes are interdependent, as much as we can focus on all 7 areas albeit unequally, we can experience "success" and "fulfilment". Now naturally this process requires sacrifices but what I love about the suggestion of journaling is that you can keep a finger on the pulse and become more conscious of potential weaknesses! I will certainly try that!
Tad thanks for the reminder of enjoying the game! This is certainly an area where I can learn from my kids! According to research the average child laughs 300 times a day whereas the average adult laughs a paltry 17!! Pretty pathetic!
I don’t know whether I have written this before but reading it again certainly helps me keep things in perspective, it was from one of Wayne Dyers books; essentially he has condensed the entire world’s population into a single village of 100 people: anyway it would be composed of:
57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 N and South Americans, 8 Africans; 52 females, 48 males. 70 non whites, 30 whites, 89% heterosexual, 11 homosexual.
6 people would possess 59% of all the worlds’ wealth and all they would all be from the USA. 80 people would live in substandard housing, 70 unable to read, 50 would suffer from malnutrition, and 1 is near death, 1 near birth. 1 would have a college education and1 would own a computer. So if you have food, clothes and a roof over your head you are better off than 72% of the world’s population. If you have money in your wallet and some loose change in your pocket you are in the top 8% of the worlds wealthy!
We have so much to be grateful for, so you are so right to emphasise the fun and enjoyment. Thanks all! EdPosted 8 months ago # -
Thanks for the reality check on the gratefulness Ed. No offense to those outside the USA, maybe it is in part that I grew up an Army brat with alot of military in the blood lines but I do reflect on how much I hit the lottery simple by where I was born. I will thankfully likely never know how lucky, but nonetheless well worth repeating. Not that living Ireland or Canada is a major struggle either, other than those accents.
So as we all "struggle" with how successful shall we become there may be a bit of comfort in knowing that we are all operating with a safety net simply by where we are fortunate enough to live. Would the percentage be skewed higher if Dr. Sea was one of the 6 from the USA.:)
On a serious note, I have been tracking the "spokes" of the life wheel just a few days now and I already feel like I am more on top of things and productive. I think alot of the RAM gets locked up in just thinking about what I might be missing or what else do I need to be doing that I am probably forgetting. I feel like there is a place for it now and I already feel more productive. It helps to avoid those "days off" wen you need to answer to yourself each night what you did or did not do today.
Posted 8 months ago #
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