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The 18/40/60 Rule and Professional Maturity

The 18/40/60 Rule is a perspective and way to change your behavior to get what you want in life.

By Dr. Frank Sovinsky

The fast track to professional maturity is paved, brick by brick, with meaningful relationships. Unfortunately, the way you learned to build relationships may no longer be useful. Let’s look at one of the rules from the game of business.

The 18/40/60 Rule is a perspective and way to change your behavior to get what you want in life.

  1. The 18 year old worries about what people think of them.
  2. The 40 year old doesn’t care what people are thinking.
  1. The 60 year old realizes, no one was thinking about them after all.

    The professional maturation process is similar. But first, let’s get a handle on what this process looks like.

    For me the turbulent summer of ‘69 was my coming of age party. I was no longer a teen and not yet an adult in thoughts or actions. The reason—my prefrontal cortex had not totally developed. So at 18 years of age, I was, on the surface, a free spirit, but on the inside I was suffering from social acceptance disorder. We all go through this phase in our social development. For some of us it is more apparent when we use our ‘hindsight’ or watch others respond to the pressures of socialization.

    The 18 year old is focused on the approval and validation that comes to him primarily from the ‘outside in.’ Because he cares so deeply about what others think of him, too often their opinion and ‘Idea of him’ becomes his own ‘idea of him.’

    At age 40 you will likely adopt the “I really don’t care what people think about me” attitude. You may even take the “love me as I am or leave me” posture. Deep down you still want approval, but by now you just don’t care as much, if at all. This is the mid-life crisis which is, in essence, the realization that you have not solved the issues you had as a teenager. Success, career, family, status, money or stuff will not stop the anxiety and so you end up wasting life energy trying to convince yourself and others that you really don’t care.

    When you reach 60 years of age, you will have an epiphany. You will wake up and suddenly “get it.’” You will realize that “no one was thinking about you after all!” You will face the brutal fact that you have wasted the majority of your life worrying about what others thought about you or trying not to care.

    Then you will take a deep breath for perhaps the first time in your life; a deep inspirational breathe, followed by a cleansing exhalation. You will then begin to focus your energies on breathing life into others and accept your role as a leader.

    How does the 18/40/60 rule apply in your professional life?

    Consider the new graduate as the 18 year old, the doctor who worries about patients’ acceptance and is in constant need of validation. They are obsessed with finding out what their patients are thinking about them. They apply a conundrum of people pleasing appliances, techniques and gimmicks so that they will be liked and accepted. They may wear a stethoscope, butcher’s coat, or dazzle the patients with their enlightened pontifications. All attempts to be accepted and to control what others are thinking about them.

    Consider the ‘business matured doctor’ as the 40 year old. This doctor has experienced the reality of the business of chiropractic. By now, he/she simply doesn’t care what the patient thinks. He/she, depending on behavioral style, will simply not express his opinions any more because he really doesn’t care if people get him or not. He may even become covertly hostile by controlling all conversations and taking the “my way or the highway” emotional posturing.

    In sharp contrast, consider the emotionally balanced and seasoned leader as the 60 year old. This doctor realizes that his patients’ only concern is how he will meet their needs and what value his service has in their life, and not whether he was right or wrong on any given day.

    The good news is that you don’t have to wait for the years to beat you down, or cause you to rebel. You can change your perception right here, right now and with strong accountability, coaching and face to face training you will attain professional maturity and all the benefits of Chiropractic affluence.

    Be a young, restless and powerful ‘wise guy.’